nina turns 60

ordinary

Funny how when you get thrown out of your routine by something unexpected and unwelcome, nothing seems more appealing than getting back into your usual groove, a groove you thought you were utterly bored with. Mornings are the best, with coffee and almonds that I've roasted in a cast iron pan, and things to read on the internet. 

I dreamed of trying to make coffee, but I was always missing one thing that I needed, which was in another room. I'd go to that other room and then I'd realize something else was missing. I was getting frantic. Even my subconscious clings so tightly to it. 

still

Still sick. Still home. In a weird limbo, throat aching. Bored. Why do I always feel guilty for things I cannot control?

home sick

Home sick and frustrated because I seem to be getting sick more often than I used to. One of the main reasons I stopped eating sugar was in hopes of improving my sinuses' tendencies to be irritated, swollen and congested. It hasn't helped. Am enjoying all the other benefits of no sugar, but not that. It's a windy day and the crows are having a bit of a turf war with the seagulls over something tasty. The crows are smarter, but the gulls are bigger. I saw the waning moon this morning, and the dark gray clouds blowing over it, briefly illuminated as they passed. 

not alone

Coincidentally, a large group of bloggers who, like me, attended BlogHer in the early days have gathered on FB and are talking about blogging again. I am on trend. A bit ahead of the curve, even. Twitter did not kill us after all. 

home

Spent the weekend in the city. I am always energized by the city, both by being there and by spending time with people that I love while I'm there. It's not my city anymore. It has changed while I've been gone and I have changed, too. In certain neighborhoods, all of the quirky personality is being razed and replaced with tech offices and businesses that serve the employees of the tech companies. I like going to the new restaurants and coffee shops that have sprung up there; I am not immune to the charms of this new environment. But I miss the sense of discovery that I used to have walking around. I miss the mess and vitality, the sense that the city was alive in an organic way. 

I was happy to see some places were still recognizable to me. The docks and floating offices of the Center for Wooden Boats are still there. Lake Union itself, of course, with its marinas and sea birds and sailboats. Even the giant storage facility near the entrance to the freeway made me smile for its longevity. 

I both long to go back and know that there is probably no place for me there, know that I have become a country mouse who likes it quiet, who needs some wildness, who cannot and does not want to keep up. Yet this place does not feel like home without Alejandro here. 

chill

When you get a one of those holy shit medical bills because the system is fucked and so are you, you may want to turn to your plant friends. They are endlessly chill about everything, as long as they get water and sunlight. 

cheers

I had two uplifting encounters with former interns today. One came into the Press to say hello and geek out excitedly at some new books. The other sent me a text. He said he'd been thinking of me because he'd raised a glass and said cheers around a table and he made sure to look each person in the eye, which I had instilled in his cohort when they were here. This is how I am ensuring the youths are going to be OK. Proper cheers technique. I'm so proud! 

 

winter

Snow blowing sideways. Walking gingerly on icy patches. The wind, slamming around all night, pushing garbage cans across patios and carports, shifting vent covers, rousing me from sleep every hour or so. A warm house, baseboards ticking and clicking, a rapid beat on top of slower clangs and pops. Footprints in the snow. Deer, of course. Birds, raccoons, people and their dogs. In the melted morning, branches, cones, needles thrown to the ground by the wind. A man in a neon yellow jacket and a truck drives around the Fort, picks up the biggest pieces and hauls them away.

(we)blog

Since I'm going old school, I'm REALLY going to go old school and list links of cool things I've seen around the web lately. 

I love reading about fat women who exercise and HAES (health at every size). Here's a look at the fitness industry and body positivity by Virginia Sole-Smith.

This next one is excellent, but may be triggering: an article from Cosmopolitan of all places about sexual abuse and incest within the Amish community. 

For all of you who love poetry, allow me to hype the new website of my employer, Copper Canyon Press. It's full of poems!

Not surprisingly, I follow a lot of coffee companies on Instagram. The best coffee p0rn by a mile comes to us from these guys:

Writing Procrastination on a Snow Day

AKA another plant drawing (sketch).