nina turns 60

Anniversary

I made it to my year anniversary of not eating sugar. Or really, not overtly bingeing on sugar. There is sugar in the salad dressing that I buy. And every once in awhile I buy some packaged naan, and it has sugar in it. I've had some candied nuts that I pretended weren't really candied because they weren't that sweet. I even had a small square of dark chocolate when I was sitting in a backup caused by a horrible car accident.

But I haven't had ice cream every night after dinner. I haven't eaten cinnamon bears until I felt sick. I'm not buying Cadbury chocolate caramel eggs and whatever other Easter candy I can get away with. I'm not making a batch of hot fudge sauce to eat with a spoon nor eating a pan of brownies one narrow row at a time.

This feels like less of a triumph than I want it to. I still feel as flawed as ever, still feel like there are endless things to do and not enough time and energy to do them. Like most of us now, I am frightened for this world and chilled to the bone by the suggestion that we should be willing to sacrifice people for the good of the economy. No. 

Absolutely no.

 

California

I didn't go to Texas, but I did go to California because my parents and sister were there. They were staying at a nice resort in the desert, but it was not a vacation. My parents are having a hard time resigning themselves to their limitations. I can't blame them, so am I. My sister and I were happy to be there to help them, and glad to have the chance to observe them at the same time in the same circumstances. We gave each other breaks, she to play tennis; I drove to a coffee shop in a nearby town. My parents had a three week trip planned, with visits to friends and other resorts, but instead they flew home with me. I stayed with them until the shuttle van came to bring them to their car. I headed back toward the baggage claim area to use the bathroom and buy a coffee. As I passed over the skybridge to the terminal, I looked down and could see them boarding the van with the other passengers, who helped them with their luggage. It is very like taking care of your child in the world, but the destination is so very different.