When I was getting my teeth cleaned the other day, the hygienist mentioned that she had also been a single mom. Like me, her kids were now adults. Later she asked me if I was still single. I said that I was, in fact seeing someone. "Congratulations! Good job." she said as if I had accomplished something remarkable. Being single is so often seen as something lesser than, something undesired, a state to be rid of as quickly as possible. I've always liked being single. It's challenging in many ways, but so is partnership.
As a single mother, I often wanted to let people know that it was MY decision to leave the marriage, that I chose that path, and I had no regrets about it.
Now that Alejandro is almost 21, and "single mom" is no longer the biggest and most important part of my identity, I have the luxury of being able to think about what pieces of identity I want to try on now. The political climate makes these kinds of decisions feel urgent and important. My elderly parents provide an equally urgent pull.
And then there is the question of whether or not I still want to be single.
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