I thought a lot about addiction in 2019. My own, mostly. I embrace caffeine and am grateful it is cheap, accessible, and socially acceptable. My relationship with sugar has been much more fraught, the damage it was doing to me more readily apparent, the likelihood of bingeing always present, the shame around food and appetite for women—especially fat women—settling over my head like a cloud. Sugar was my first addiction, and one of my greatest pleasures. I have always known that I should stop, but I didn't imagine that I could.
So, when Eve Ewing invited her followers on twitter to "tell us about a way in which you pleasantly surprised yourself this year. something you didn't feel like you could or would do, but did anyway." I responded by saying that I'd been off sugar since March.
It looks so small when I write it down. Nine months. But it is not small at all.