Here's the thing about addiction: it protects you from something. It allows you to keep moving forward. It makes you feel good when everything else is shitty. It soothes you. It gives you the energy to go to work every day if you hate your job. It provides a structure from which to make some sense of the world.
I have my favorite mug. My collection of espresso cups. I have no fewer than three non-functioning burr grinders in various cupboards in my kitchen. I have my trusty hand crank grinder and my aeropress. I have my fancy electric kettle that lets me heat the water to a precise temperature. I order my ridiculously expensive beans from Seattle or Portland. Sometimes I have heavy cream in the fridge. I take great pleasure in preparing a beautiful cup of coffee for myself every day. I also start to get really uncomfortable if I am awake for more than a little while without any caffeine. I will drink the shitty stuff - even the instant stuff - if I have to, because all of my fancy-schmancy accessories and rituals aside, I need my drug.
I can be as proud of myself as I want to about being off sugar for nine months (and I am), but I am not even one tiny bit thinking about ever giving up coffee.
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