the unbearable lightness of parenting

Whenever I complain to my mother about how overwhelmed I get about all the Christmas duties like buying and putting up a tree, she reminds me--wise woman that she is--that the kidlet is six, and he will never be six again.  This obvious bit of information always lands like a blow to my gut.  How can one possibly grasp such a thing?  If you think about this too much, if you take it completely to heart it becomes impossibly heavy.  Ordinary life becomes unthinkable, you can't just continue going to the grocery store and doing homework and reminding him to bring his bowl into the kitchen.  You just want to sit with your child in your lap and stroke his hair.  You want to watch him every moment that he sleeps, you want every day to be Christmas, and you especially want the chance to change all of your mistakes, take back all those times you lose your patience or don't play a game with him because this is the only chance you get and he will never be six again.

Comments

[Karen]

I do this to myself all the time. "What if he died tomorrow -- wouldn't I wish I'd played that last game of Yu-Gi-Oh?"

[Rod K]

I posted something on my blog, but it didn't trackback for some reason?

It is impossibly heavy on your heart and soul trying to make every day be Christmas, to correct all the mistakes, to try and stop thinking about the fact that we will never again be the family we once were. No matter how hard I try to "take back", and "want the chance to change"

http://radio.weblogs.com/0100146/2005/12/20.html

[Lisa Stone]

Yum. Nice post Nina. And thanks for the reminder. Just spent two days getting home to Montana, delays about which the kids were much more grown-up than I. Merry, merry to you all.