fembots

I don't have cable, so I miss out on a lot of ummm, quality television.  I was over at my friend's house on Friday evening, though, and so caught a glimpse of a show called "What Not to Wear".  Let me tell you people, I was appalled.  Appalled and rather squicked out.  The whole concept of this show is to take women who don't conform to the standard media-prescribed way of dressing and wearing their hair and then take every ounce of individuality out of them and turn them into fembots, right before your eyes.  There is an annoying hostess named something extra-girlie like Stacie or Tracy, and some preumably gay dude, and they follow around some poor, unsuspecting woman for a couple of weeks, make fun of her clothes on national television, and then toss everything into the dumpster and tell her how she should be dressing.  Then they give her a bunch of money and send her out shopping.  Once she's picked an appropriately fashionable wardrobe--which of course must include high heels--they put her in the hairdresser's chair, and then later teach her how to paint herself. 

All of this might not be quite so horrifying if said makeover victim actually approached the show's producers asking for help, but no, the girlie gets nominated by her friends and/or family.  So none of this is her idea.  She is considered to be flaking out on her womanly duties, and dammit, we're going to humiliate her publicly until she shapes up and puts on the proper shade of lipstick.

In the episode I saw, they took a firefighter who, gasp!, didn't usually wear skirts, threw out all her jeans, and put her in a dress, all after making her blonder, of course.  This woman had upper arm definition to die for, and all they cared about was getting her to show some leg?  Gak.  She kept looking at the camera uncomfortably saying, "I'm a girl, so I should start looking like a girl."  The really sad one for me, though, was the cute Converse-wearing, long haired musician chick.  She was kind of shy, but adorable, and definitely had a style of her own.  She didn't seem too thrilled about the whole makeover idea, and was actually brought to tears when they insisted on dying her hair.  But, once they were finished with her, she loved it, she loved everything!  It was if she had been brainwashed as well as made over.  It reminded me of a Twilight Zone episode where everyone is surgically made to look exactly alike, and at first one woman was horribly resistant, but after the surgery, she loved being just like everyone else.  This musician's entire personality changed, she was suddenly very outgoing and perky and it was just creepy.

I'm going to start my own version of this show called "Fuck Your Patriarchal Beauty Standards" in which I'm going to grab skinny women with lots of hair who totter around on high heels and force them to get buzz cuts dyed purple and wear Doc Martens.  Then they have to eat a big plate of pasta followed by a brownie.  Or, you know, we could just let women choose how they want to look.  I'm such a radical.

Please note: for a more thoughtful discourse on women and makeup, please go read Sour Duck's post. 

Comments

[Jo]

Oh, how I love this post. Yes!

[Sour Duck]

Oooooo, you speak the truth, my friend! Great, great post.

"Fuck Your Patriarchal Beauty Standards"

:D This would make a great name for a blog.

"It was if she had been brainwashed as well as made over."

Scary, isn't it? Every episode of these type programs (whether it's What Not To Wear, or Oprah makeovers, or (there's another one I can't recall the name of!) the subject loves their makeover. They must edit the ones that are dissatisfied.

And the standard is always this bland, magazine look. Very safe, very inoffensive. Killing all indication that maybe the person has a will of her own.

Anyway - liked the post. ;)

[nina]

I must confess I got the idea for "Fuck Your Patriarchal Beauty Standards" from a t-shirt. I think the shirt said "fascist beauty standards", and I always thought it was pretty damn cool.

[Chris Clarke]

I'm pretty sure Miss Clairol contains thorazine.

[Bill]

I like your idea of the TV show. I bet it would be more popular than the original.

[Paul]

I suppose that, as a born, if no longer dues-paying member of the Patriarchy, it falls to me to point out that they do makeovers of men on this show also, and that from week to week they actually dress a wide variety of women's bodies in a wide variety of styles, and seem, to me, to be very sensitive to incorporating and honoring each individual's sense of style and preference, often helping them find a way to dress in a way they have long wanted to, but couldn't figure out how to pull off.

While Clinton's sexual preference has never been specified, he has gone ga-ga over some of the women, so he may be a straight metrosexual.

But I'm guessing you still don't want me to tape if for you tonight. ;-)

[lisa]

we went through a phase of watching a bunch of these types of shows.. like Queer Eye for the Straight Guy... although I don't agree with the premise of these shows (ie. if you don't look a certain way you suck and are a loser), unfortunately in North American culture, it is somewhat true, at least in some jobs/communities... I have had to "update" my wardrobe from track pants & tshirts to something that would pass as I go to court and meet with clients now that I am a lawyer... (but I still refuse to wear heels or dresses and have tried to find clothes that I can stand wearing).

[Twisty]

Amen, sister. The Brit version of this show is what drove me to adopt flowing robes and flipflops as my uniform.

[oxlajuj]

Well, you were outraged by the show, sin embargo, there you were, pegadita como chicle a la tele until the show ended. Can you see why this type of reality show is so popular? Even if you hate the premise, a morbid curiosity is piqued and prodded.
By the way, how did the most recent Miss Super Model end?

[nina]

I'm sorry, I don't understand. What is this strange language you speak? Is that Spanglish? Yes, I was glued to the set. I was tired, there was nothing else on, I don't have cable. I watched it purely as blog fodder, didn't you realize? And yes, I'm guilty of watching American's Next Top Model, too. Not as offensive to me, and hugely entertaining. What can I say? I'm a bundle of contradictions.

[Dick Masterson]

Is what pisses you off most about the show that the women actually like the change?

Yes. The question was rhetorical. Keep fighting the biology. Keep calling a spade a clover. You're wasting your time.

-Dick