mixing it up: non-BlogHer foto with BlogHer related post

As I stated earlier, what meant the most to me about BlogHer was the face-to-face meetings with the women there.  But there was one thing that Danah Boyd said at the opening debate (Play by the old rules, or make our own game?), which she summarizes on her blog that really made an impact on me:

"One issue came up over the fact that women don't network. Well, that's bullshit. Actually, women are traditionally the maintainers of domestic social networks. They tend to network more than men. The gender difference concerns the style of networking. Men are more likely to gather many weak ties; women tend to work hard to maintain strong ties. Each have their value. But when it comes to technology like Technorati, there is a validation of weak ties over strong ties. Or more actually, there's an assumption that all ties are created equal, which inadvertently validates the weak ties over the strong ties." 

Yes, exactly, I thought.  Some people (Jory for one) got in trouble when they tried to state that men and women do things differently, but I find this way of thinking can be useful.  Of course I realize that it is generalizing, but this particular point of Danah's rang so true in my own personal experience,  that I was nodding my head and thinking of my mother, who is the keeper of the strong ties for our extended family.  Rating systems like Technorati don't paint a complete picture.  They aren't complex enough.  Do I check Technorati to see who's linking to me?  Damn straight I do, and I love it when someone does.  But that's because I want readers not a higher ranking.

The best part of the opening debate besides consolodating my own thinking on the topic was getting to see Halley Suitt in action.  She was the one woman I was too afraid to introduce myself to.  I'd walked out onto the patio at the Friday dinner to get some fresh air, and there she was eating dinner with her son and some other folks.  I started that jumping and squealing thing (but discreetly, really!) that is going to be the only thing that anyone remembers about me from the entire weekend.  Since she was sitting apart from the rest of us, at a table for four outside instead of jammed into long rows like the rest of us, I felt like I'd be intruding too much to walk over and say hi.  Plus, Heather B. Armstrong and a friend had also come out to the patio, rendering me pretty much useless to do anything other than grin and gawk.  I thought it kind of funny that for the opening debate Ms. Suitt was arguing on the side of "make your own game" --she is extremely good at getting attention under the current hierarchical structures (and in the old-fashioned media, she was on Oprah fer crissake).  Which is not to say that she's not equally talented at and excited about kicking ass on her own terms, but I wouldn't call her a rebel by any means.  She's not someone who wants to buck the system, but rather she uses it very wisely to her advantage .  She's entertaining as hell, both on her blog and in person.

Back to my quest for more readers.  It's really not that tough to figure out:  just gotta write better.  If you write it (well), they will come.  Which reminds me, I have to post a foto of myself in my spankin' new fussy t-shirt, which spots the perfect slogan "writing well is the best revenge".  Posting boobies also increses readership.

Comments

[Mikey]

boobies? they do increase readership but I come here everyday, boobs or no boobs. but cleavage would be nice every so often. ok I'll go now

[jenB]

i am totally pro boobies. it was nice meeting you (iffin' you remember meeting me). i even think you were on my san jose to seattle flight, but i wasn't sure it was you and then i was too shy to ask you. sheesh. why are we all so shy??? and thanks for the danah boyd link, fabulous comment. and heck, write about blogher more! i like it!