wake me up when it's over

The Oscars last night were mostly a big yawn.  There were no surprises, no excitement, nothing much interesting at all.  Chris Rock was funny enough, but not outrageous, or even very different than any other Oscar host.  Sean Penn was a bit of a prick, but that's what we've come to expect of him.  Even the twists with having presenters in the audience or nominees on stage just seemed weird and not innovative.  It was nice to see some women with meat on their bones like Scarlett Johanssen, Kate Winslet, and Don Cheadle's girlfriend (wife?).

Oscars that should have been awarded but weren't:

Best boobs, but worst hair: Salma Hayak
Most recently attacked by a box of kleenex: Charlize Theron
Worst case of squish-boob: Gwyneth Paltrow
Lamest attempt at vocal performance: Antonio Banderas
Female star who most needs to eat a sandwich: Emmy Rossum
Weirdest eye shadow: Beyonce
Most uncomfortable presenter: Dustin Hoffman
Most squinty and pointy: Renee Zellweger
Man who should have looked gorgeous, but really needed to comb his hair: Johnny Depp

Update:  I forgot to mention how irritating and even offensive I find it that everytime a person of a certain ethnic group is on stage, they then show folks in the audience of the same ethnic group, as if to say, hey, look, there's Jorge Drexler up on stage, and there in the audience is Antonio Banderas and there's Carlos Santana, can you tell what they all have in common?

Comments

[Kimberly]

Thanks, nina! Paul and I agree that you've told us everything we need to know about last night's Oscars.

[Michele]

Actualy, Beyonce should get worst make-up times three. Don't you agree? And was there no other femal singer available for the evening?

[anita]

My guess is that Ms. Hayek has good fake breasts. Hard to get separation between and disc like features up top with natural breasts. I work in womens' healthcare and have seen thousands of natural and augmented breasts, so think I am pretty good at sorting out the real from the fake. Oh, the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition makes quite a splash with me and my son.

[widebluesky]

Nina, thanks for the nice comment on widebluesky. We do have things in common. I'll keep you on my radar. :)

[lisa]

we had a small scale oscar party - and yes, it was boring...we were all irked about who won - except for morgan freeman and cate blanchett... but I particularly loved Antonio - I don't care what he is doing, wearing...whether he was singing, talking, or random audience shots...he is my heart throb...p.s. I really wanted finding neverland to win more - it was fantastic.

[amandistracted]

Darling

How can you be so unkind about Salma Hayek? She is lovely. That smoldering (the American spelling of some words still bemuses) beauty.

I do agree the Oscars were double dull. When will we tire of the cult of pointless celebrity I wonder?

AMD

[Wendy]

I so agree with your Oscar assessment ... it was a total snooze. Beonce's eye shadow was about the weirdest thing I've seen - what was she thinking? I thought Cate Blanchette looked great - no one else worth even mentioning I think. They didn't even pan to many people this year - it was always the same ones. I usually find those shots the most interesting - not this year.