We all know about Kubler-Ross' five stages of grief, but I present you with the lesser known, but no less important five stages of horniness:
Indifference--You just got laid. You're feeling satisfied and happy. At this point you can take it or leave it. Thoughts of sex rarely cross your mind.
Squirrelliness--You feel a little bit on edge, but you're not sure why. You're a bit jumpy, you find your attention span is shorter than usual. Something just seems wrong, but you can't quite place your finger on it.
Sensitivity--All your senses are more keen, and your skin reacts to the slightest touch. Food tastes delicious and you find yourself taking your time when you put on lipstick or lotion. You begin to notice all the sexy men everywhere, and you start watching "Kevin Hill" over and over and over (especially the episode with Gina Gershon).
Bitchiness--There's no doubt in your mind about what you want now, it's hard to keep your mind off of sex. Your pocket rocket is getting quite the work out, and it's a major crisis if you should run out of batteries. Memories of steamy nights keep running through your head at inappropriate times. You catch yourself drooling.
Predatory Stage--Everything else takes a back seat, because now you are like an animal in heat. No one is safe, not random strangers in elevators, not co-workers, not married men. You are on the prowl, and you WILL be satisfied.
I had a great comment but I digress. ;-)
Posted by: Mikey | 2004.11.20 at 17:58
You should try out for the role of Maggie in your local production of Cat On A Hot Tin Roof, and quickly while the creative juices are flowing. (No pun intended - ha, yes it was!) You are prime Tony material, girlfriend!
Posted by: Cowtown Pattie | 2004.11.20 at 21:07
Oh, yeah, I've worked through all of those stages at one time or another. However, I never had words for them before.
Posted by: Kimberly | 2004.11.21 at 16:46
"...can't quite place your finger on it..." I'm still laughing out loud.
Posted by: Ronni Bennett | 2004.11.22 at 06:54
been there...done that!
Posted by: lisa | 2004.11.23 at 20:56
I think I skip directly to Sensitivity and then to Predatory. I don't think I've ever been in indifference.
Posted by: David Earney | 2004.11.28 at 12:05