Yesterday was curriculum night at the kidlet's school. The eager parents filed into the classroom and sat down at their child's desk, knees poking into the air. The kidlet's teacher is young, and enthusiastic, and pretty, almost the stereotype of perfect kindergarten teacher. I was sitting there happily, reading the letter that the kidlet had composed to me for that evening, and admiring once again all the neato stuff they have in the classroom when the teacher said the dreaded words, "I want you all to go around the room and introduce yourselves, and say a little bit about your child."
While, like most parents, I adore talking about my kidlet, there is little more loathe to me than having to sit there and think of something clever to say on-the-spot while 25 people that I don't know very well are looking at me. I went dead last, which you would think would give me plenty of time to come up with the perfect little anecdote about the kidlet's kindergarten experience, but no, it just made me get more and more nervous. One by one the parents, usually the moms, told cute and funny stories about their magnificent offspring. When it was my turn, I babbled that I was nina mcblogger and my son is Multisyllabic-Mexican-first-name Long-Unfamiliar-Mexican last name, also known as kidlet, which got them all totally confused right from the start. Then I mentioned something about him liking to read, and he thought school was great, which I have no idea if it's true or not, since he doesn't usually tell me that much about it, but all the other parents said their kids thought school was great, and damned if my kid wasn't going to think so, too.
I was struck by how white we all were. Every damn one of us. Now there are brown kids in the kidlet's class, and kids whose parents are from France and Russia, and other kids with one parent who is a native Spanish speaker, so it's not like there is no diveristy at all, but there aren't any African-American kids, and those of us sitting in those tiny little chairs last night looked overly homogeneous. In real life, I want the kidlet to feel however he really feels about kindergarten, but in that setting the Stepford Mommy takes over, and I must conform.
I miss the diversity of our Preschool, I wonder if I shouldn't have chosen an elementary school in a more diverse neighborhood, I find it so hard to know sometimes if I am making all the Right Decisions for my child. Then I take a couple of breaths. I picked this school for its Spanish program, and focus on reading, I really like his teacher, who was in the Peace Corps prior to becoming an educator, and just so happens to be fluent in Spanish. Relax, Mommy. He does like school, and is doing well, and in his woo-woo after school daycare they focus on diversity, and individual expression, and the oneness of all living things. Funny how many times as a parent I have to keep reminding myself that it's all gonna be OK, I have to remember the way, the other night, the kidlet told me as he was drifting off to sleep, "Mom, I love you very very very very very very very very much."
My two older kids attended an alternative school in a very well off neighbourhood. Very white, upper middle class parents... it was a bit of a problem sometimes when they got invitations over - we were not very well off, and my kids would come home wondering why some kids had such big houses... etc.. also I was working for the school board in a much poorer, diverse neighbourhood, with many immigrant families...so it made me feel like a hypocrite... and all of their friends were white...a few years later, my marriage had split up and I couldn't afford to live there anymore, so my younger two kids have attended schools in a more mixed neighbourhood which has been great - at my daughter Zoe's grade 8 grad in June, I was so happy to see that her 4 best friends (all medal winners for best grades) were from 4 different countries... now she is attending a high school in a richer neighbourhood, and the first friends she has made there in the past two weeks are all from immigrant families - as she learned in her past school to accept people who were different than herself. So I know that at least one of my kids has learned this value. *sigh of relief*
Posted by: lisa | 2004.10.08 at 20:20