For the last few months I have been going through a period of grief. This grief was triggered by the loss of a relationship, but is by no means simply about that. It is much bigger, and I don't quite understand where it has all come from or what it is about. I realize that it is important, however, and have been trying to just go with the flow of it. Not an easy task.

"I have heard Wm. Brugh Joy, MD speak of scientists who, by measuring sound vibrations, know that the caterpillar in the cocoon is shrieking! Screaming in pain as its body changes from the caterpillar--a lowly creature, to most senses--to the beloved and beautiful butterfly. The butterfly is used in many traditions as a symbol of transformation and especially transmutation through death. Yet, in our highly romanticized versions, we do not acknowledge that transformation is a painful process. Painful but not fatal. Reassure yourself that, like Alice in Wonderland, you have fallen through a rabbit hole into a totally different reality. Things look the same but they aren't. They sound the same but they aren't. You don't recognize yourself. You are not crazy. You are in an unfamiliar landscape. And there you need to trust yourself and your instincts just as if you were 'lost.' Send out flares and stay put. Help is on the way."

~Deborah Morris Coryell in her book Good Grief

Comments

[Wendy]

That's true ... transformation IS a painful process. Guess its not always bad ... not easy though.

[ellie]

I know what you mean about not being able to name that grief...just feeling a shift in the landscape of your underskin, knowing something has changed. I think it's a 40's thing and no, it's NOT hormones.