journeys of a restless mind

spotted this afternoon while weeding

One young girl riding a white pony.  The pony had a long, well-brushed tail.  The girl was barefoot, but wore a helmet and a smile.  It was as if the passionate wishes of every pre-pubescent girl who ever lived had gained enough force to finally cross over into reality.  Why this apparition manifested itself here in PT at two o'clock on a Wednesday afternoon is anybody's guess. 

Anais

We are on our way to Seattle for the weekend.  I haven't been in many weeks.  Each time I go there is a shifting, a speeding up.  I start slowly on the 25 mph streets, then wind through the farms on Route 19 at just over fifty.  The highway that leads to Hood Canal is as full-speed as traffic will allow, but still only one lane each way.  Not until we get off the ferry and onto I-5 do I feel that sense of too much, too many, too fast.  I laugh at myself, thinking how far my inner life has slowed down.  Here in PT, I walk on the streets and only occasionally have to move aside for a car.   There, everything feels like an assault on my senses.  You drive everywhere, and everywhere you drive there are a million things that want your attention.   After awhile, I get my city legs back and it just feels normal.  But at first it is jarring, vulgar, invasive.  All the signs, businesses, driveways, other cars, big cars, SUV's, and the ever-hated Hummers.  There is far less pretense in my new town. 

Hijo has enrolled in Little League, our first experience with team sports.  They got their uniforms yesterday and he was very excited, pointing out to me the official "Little League" patch on the arm of his shirt.  I chat with the other parents as we watch our sons out on the field.  I feel less shy there than I often do, probably because we are brought together for the kids and not ourselves.  Today is the jamboree, the official start of the season.  It is raining, of course. 

This is why I came here, to change not just the scenery, but the very fabric of our lives--to weave ourselves into something durable and beautiful and satisfying.   We've only just started, we are still choosing the colors of the yarn and setting up the loom, but there is something solid and real there that we can feel, running our fingers softly over it.

Visual DNA

Read my VisualDNA™     Get your own VisualDNA™

Found this one over at Sheila's.  Like her, I found the descriptions that they offer up based on my choices to be surprisingly accurate.  To wit:

"Oh - insatiable! Your thirst for affection never drops...You are probably happy spending time alone, and your drive and curiosity will take you all over the world...Your heart is right there on your sleeve."

Fun! 

last day of winter

The wind keeps waking me up at night, things shuddering and scraping outside my window, the air in my bedroom cold.  The camellia bush drops its blossoms faster than I can pick them up, faster than the deer can eat them.  The daffodils are dying.  The dandelions are not.  Along the driveway there is a small thicket.  You can hear things scuffling around in there when you walk by.  It's a bit unsettling until the chirping comes.  Ah, just birds.  On the way to the bus stop yesterday we found the paper airplane that had soared up onto the roof.  It was soggy and half unfolded, but it made us happy to have it back anyway.

He wants to be fastest, strongest, first.  I just want to find my way.

garage #8

not a garage #2

I love the door-within-a-door concept.  You see it a lot in Mexico in houses with big wooden doors.  This is one of the boat shops in town.  I've been dying to shoot it ever since I noticed it, because it has all those factors that I've been going crazy for aesthetically:  it's a doorway, it has faded, see-through paint,  and fabulous old hardward (those big pulls!).   I've been chicken, though, since you have to walk a bit into their yard to get in front of the door.  Today, I could no longer resist.  There's a wider view below the fold if you want to see more context.

broken

garage #7

nina's law of health insurance: if you don't have it, you will need it

In all my years at eVil corporation, I don't think I made a claim on my health insurance once.  Not for myself, anyway.  What happens to me once I become uninsured?  Yup, a trip to the ER.  A kidney stone. 

The frustrating thing is that I knew exactly what was wrong, and I knew it was just a matter of pain management until the stone passed.  I thought I could handle it on my own with some ibuprofen.  I think I'm all badass because I gave birth to Hijo with no drugs.  Well, let me tell you, this was worse than being in labor for a couple of reasons.  First of all, I was well prepared for childbirth.  Second,  labor contractions come and go.  This pain was constant and it just kept getting more intense, a searing sharp pain that made me nauseous. 

Off to the hospital I went (luckily Hijo was already on his way to see his dad).  My self-diagnosis confirmed with the help of fancy (expensive) machines.  Then the good drugs.  Dang.  I've never been on narcotics before.  The first dose didn't do much but make me feel relaxed.  I could still feel the stab of pain.  Later, I got a heavier dose.  That one took away all the pain and helped me realize how people get hooked.  I might have become a bit silly.  By that time my mother had arrived, and all was well.

Now I have a bunch of paperwork to wade through to figure out how I'm going to pay for this.  I am eternally grateful for my mom. (It's a lovely thing to be hurting and to know you can call your mom and she'll come and take care of you.)  At least now, being around medical professionals isn't the terrifying thing it used to be for me when I was younger.  I was a good decade older than the doctor, and with a little resarch on the web knew almost as much as he did about kidney stones.  The nurses and other  hospital folks were kind and efficient.  Really, except for the drugs the whole thing was almost superfluous.  It was nice to know the exact size of the stone and that it wasn't blocking anything, but as is the case a great majority of the time, it's just a wee stone, and though it hurts like hell, it will work its way out on its own. 

What it boils down to is that I got some very expensive drugs and a renewed sense that the system is toally messed up.  Just be glad I'm not posting a foto of the actual stone.