I'm used to mommy guilt. But now I've got blogger's guilt, too, and that just may be too much to handle. I mean, I've only got one kidlet, but I've got two blogs. And one of them is feeling neglected. And I know which one. The easy going one. The one that doesn't make me post five times a week. The one that doesn't dictate subject matter. The one that doesn't help supplement my income in any way, shape, or form. My first baby, my nina-turns-40-turned-destinations, is getting the short end of the stick, and I'm not sure what to do about it. As cool as it is to be blogging for cash, the truth of it is that I'm simply working two jobs now. And there ain't nothing very glamorous about that. It's just more work for me.
Folks have been asking me if it's stressful to have to write five posts a week for Club Mom. Damn straight it's stressful. I try to finish my post for the next day the night before. But it's hard for me to write at night, and I don't always get it done before I collapse. The next morning I wake up and the first thought to flit across my uncaffeinated brain is, "Oh shit, I have to write a post." And a low-level buzzing starts up and keeps getting louder until I hid that "publish" button. Of course, it's a great privilege to be blogging professionally, and I consider myself lucky to have this opportunity. That doesn't change the anxiety it causes me.
I guess you neglect the child that you know is going to be OK. I know this space will always be here for me when I need it. (Hopefully most of you will, too.) It will always be my first love. But a girl's gotta pay the bills. Especially when the child support dries up.
i love reading both....to see all the sides of your life. Club mom blog is meat and potatoes. This one is more like a delicate sauce that compliments.
Posted by: xath | 08 June 2006 at 01:42 PM
You can only do so much. No need to feel guilty. Having a job, even if it's a job you like, is work and has stresses. Come back to this blog just to mellow out or to vent. I, for one, am still here, checking it out, and once in awhile I go over to your mommy blog, too, just to see how you're doing.
Posted by: M | 08 June 2006 at 01:49 PM
I have both blogs on RSS feed so I am informed when you have new goodies for me to read. RSS is high tech sloth for me. Time savers of any sort are welcome to single parents!
Posted by: anita | 08 June 2006 at 06:47 PM
We'll be here. (I pop over to your other blog too).
Posted by: cc | 09 June 2006 at 05:21 AM
Yes, we'll be here.
Ya' know -- 'weekends' are for catching up with friends over coffee. Relaxing. No pressure, no guilt.
Actually, I remember years ago when my brother finally put on his tax return as his occupation: "musician" -- a declaration of who he was as much as what his mode of making a living was. Up intil then it was always "bookbinder" or "substitute teacher" or whatever else paid the bills. But then the reality set in quickly: while before he worked to make money to live, and he lived his passion for music, now his passion became work. His love had to 'produce'. It was great -- and yet it took some of the fun out of it. Not the romance, because he was actually 'doing it' -- but the idea that his talent and his love of music was an escape from the mundane was threatened with becoming the mundane means to paying the bills.
Relax -- it's still his love, and so will communicating with us'ns be yours. And the other blog will become a craft that you will perfect, and grow with too.
Dump he guilt. Just breath. have a cup of Joe on us.
We'll be here
G.
Posted by: greg | 09 June 2006 at 07:21 PM