Hard to believe, but today marks the beginning of my sixth week of unemployment. I've had two organizations ask me back for second interviews, but after that they ended up choosing someone else. It's odd to be competing against unseen rivals. It's odd to have this space of relatively unstructured time, but to still have the responsibilities of home and parenthood.
Being November on the Quimper Peninsula, it is windy, rainy, dark, and cold. I get a bill for what I think is a simple lab test that could buy my groceries for a month. I don't want to lose my house. My house, which isn't even mine. I wonder if I'd be having an easier time of it if I were younger. I try to ease Hijo's fears that we will have to move away from this place he loves.
I write cover letters. I keep a log of all my employment search activity. I think of who I might ask for leads. I wonder how long I can last.
Of course I'd be remiss, this week of all weeks, if I did not acknowledge my great fortune despite the current circumstances. Of course I feel lucky, and yes, grateful, that I do have this house, I have my smart, funny, remarkable boy, I have my incredibly supportive family. I still have some cushion between where I am now and disaster. I have so much.
I will incant my thank yous to show I am worthy. I will take nothing for granted. I hope that will be enough.